Friday, June 6, 2008

Deconstructionism at its finest

I'm sitting here at My desk with a snoot of Scotch and... a stitch ripper.

In My lap is a pair of karate pants that have definitely passed their "Best Before" date. The cuffs are frayed; the sides are threadbare; and I can put My finger right through the cloth immediately below the waistband.

So I'm taking 'em apart to make Myself a fine pattern for a new pair. My primary motive is an upcoming test for green belt, but it would also be nice to have a lighter-weight, custom-sized outfit for what promises to be a very hot summer. (Bonus points: I can use the very same pattern in the fall to whip up an über-heavyweight gi for the Dreaded Season of Cold and Dark.)

It's always been a bit of a struggle to find the right pants, be they gi pants, blue jeans or dressy trousers for work. I have a fairly unusual lower body structure, with a waist-to-thigh ratio that has baffled Me since puberty or so. In most cases, pants that are loose enough for My upper legs are generally far too loose at the waist, and six inches too long as well.

The pants that I'm currently wrecking are a heavyweight canvas size 6... Which, in karate terms, is Pretty Damned Big Indeed. I've already severely modified them, shortening the legs and re-doing the side splits to taper the waist inward. I did similar custom work on the jacket, shortening the sleeves so that Sensei could actually see My hands when I punch.

(turns pants inside out to get at the other side of a leg seam)

In My younger days, I had a lovely pair of brushed-cotton jeans that didn't quite fit. I hung onto them for years and years, trying them on every once in a while to see if I had magically shrunken into them. Eventually I did briefly resize Myself to the pants, but it was a long, judgmental and -- above all -- painful struggle. I would've been a lot happier if I had just purchased the right size of pants to begin with.

(pauses to rip out part of a seam)

When it gets right down to it, there's enough suffering in the world without inflicting it upon ourselves. And, over the years, I've found that the questions we ask ourselves often contribute to that suffering.

Because... *rip* ...sometimes... *shred* ...we take the questions themselves as the answers.

I refuse to question these legs any more. There's a reason I have this particular build. I accept it.

And I intend to use that reason to My advantage.

And practice yoko geri keage many, many times... In cool comfort.

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