Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Springing out of winter

Welcome to spring, Northern Hemisphere style!

We've had some rather rough winter in Winnipeg this past winter, and in My role as Goddess of Random Equipment Malfunctions I also had a few chilly days dealing with a furnace that was sort-of-kind-of-but-not-quite working.  After having the furnace guy put it to rights, I appreciate that hard-working machinery all the more.

As the tall snowbanks finally begin to dissolve into mass quantities of dirty puddles, I'm breathing a sigh of relief and getting ready for a season of Xtreme Gardening.  I didn't make the mistake of starting my seedlings too early, though, as the Victoria Day weekend in mid-May is traditionally the first safe time to actually start gardening outdoors.  (I am, however, eagerly awaiting the emergence of the 100 or so flower bulbs that I planted in the fall -- assuming, of course, that the neighbourhood squirrels haven't eaten them already.)

Happy Spring to all!

Friday, February 15, 2019

Shopping with Springy G

It's a February Friday night in Winnipeg, and I'm mildly proud of myself -- I went out to pick up a few things, and pretty much stuck to the list.

But what a list!

Let's face it:  It isn't often that one has to pick up a knife sharpener for the kitchen, or a can of fibreglass resin.

Or the pièce de resistance, a cordless 18-gauge brad nailer.  Really, I can explain everything.

This all started a few months ago when I was sitting in a coffee shop in the south end of the city, meditating on Life, the Universe and Everything.  I chanced to glance up and saw The Ceiling of My Dreams, nice white parallel slats with recessed pot lights.  It was love at first sight, exactly what I was looking for to finish the ceiling in my study.

But what you have to ask yourself is this:  Do you really want to balance on top of a stepladder, trying to nail up several dozen very long boards with a hammer and a countersink punch?

It wouldn't be half bad if the boards had the good manners to, you know, stay up there long enough for me to nail them in.  Pesky little thing called 'gravity' has other plans.  And bending backwards at the top of a ladder, trying to keep my eye on the nail long enough to drive it in?  Not a fan.  Been there, done that, lay down on the couch till the nausea and vertigo went away.

So now I have a portable high-tech device that will make my ceiling look awesome, and make my life a little bit safer --

-- Unless, of course, I disregard the "Do not chase your co-workers around the work site with this tool" red-circle-and-slash warning icon.  RTFM is serious business.




Friday, July 13, 2018

Think Like a God Day 2018: One of us has got to go!

Welcome to Think Like a God Day, Your annual chance to walk a light year in the shoes of a deity.  Here's this year's question for You to ponder:

Due to circumstances (unforeseen, unless You are an omniscient deity), you have a terrible choice to make.  Either You or the universe can continue to exist, but not both.  Which one of you gets the pink slip / golden handshake, and why?

(My choice is simple:  The universe stays and I go.  I follow the Norse tradition of non-eternal, killable gods, and I see reality as constant change.  Not only is the universe darned cute *coochie coochie* but I would be divinely bored without it.)

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Coffee as professional development

I have a confession to make:  I like going out for coffee.

No, let me rephrase that.  I love going out for coffee.  In fact, there's one regular Saturday night hangout that's so much a part of my routine that the day isn't complete till I've gone and come back.  Sometimes I go somewhere else for my evening java, but not going out at all on Saturday night feels just plain weird.

Over the years, I've spent literally thousands of dollars driving or walking to places that sells roasted-bean beverages and sundry foodstuffs.

I can explain everything, really.  This is where I go to get ideas -- writing ideas, interior decorating ideas, troubleshooting a project, window-shopping, sometimes just people-watching.  Sometimes I take my notebook computer along and actually compose something right then and there, being careful not to get biscotti crumbs in the keyboard or hot French Roast in my lap.

Yes, I could make coffee at home.  Sometimes I do.  No, I have no intention of giving up these evening sorties.  The change of venue is refreshing, a caffeine spa treatment that gives me a chance to kick back and integrate all the fussy little details from the previous week.

If only it was tax-deductible.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Sorry we missed you

(Springy G saunters up her front walk, intent upon a slip of paper sticking out of the mailbox)

Oh, dear -- They tried to deliver spring at a quarter after eleven this morning, while I was at work.  I guess I'd better drive over to the courier depot and sign for it.

(A rogue snowflake lands on her nose.  She sneezes, turns her gaze upward to sky, and sighs.)

Regardless, a happy Equinox to you.  I'm going to go run some errands and then maybe get this weather thing sorted out.


Thursday, March 1, 2018

The Crow Whisperer

This morning, as I walked down the street to catch the bus to work, I heard a commotion up ahead:

cawCAWcawCAWCAWCAWcawCAW!

At first I saw three crows up in a tree; then a fourth; then a whole bunch more in an adjoining tree -- perhaps not a murder of crows, but at least an involuntary homicide of them.  They seemed to be rather disturbed about something.

I like crows, partly because they're smart little bastards and partly because they remind me of Huginn and Muninn, Asgard's airborne intelligence agency   I hate to see them upset, so I made an attempt to calm them down.

By doing my very best lady-crow impression.

I don't know how accurate it was -- my purring gargle probably came across as more penguin than corvid -- but I got a bit of a dialogue going with the gang up in the tree, and as I walked by and chatted with them they settled down quite nicely.

Most importantly, I got to work with absolutely no crow poop on my hat.

I do wonder what the crows were talking about after I left, though...

Monday, February 19, 2018

Does anyone know how to defuse a squirrel?

When I stepped out the back door this morning I heard a disconcerting sound, high in the elms:

tick -pause- tick -pause- tick

The source was She Who Must Not Be Fed, an evil-minded red squirrel who patrols the neighbourhood and hurls abuse at any moving object that is not her.

What I found alarming was that SWMNBF sounded like she was running down.  Under normal circumstances, it's easy to wind up a squirrel:  All I have to do is dare to show my face in my own back yard, and I get doused by a veritable fire hose of enraged chattering.

I know this has been a long, cold winter and there's still a whole month to go before the equinox, but I'm worried.  Is SWMNBF counting down to zero, about to explode?  Do I cut the red wire or the green wire?  And how do I get up into that tree?

Paging James Bond... Mr. Bond, please pick up the courtesy phone...